Sunday, July 6, 2014

Advice from Ms Lou

If you don't know I do have a Youtube channel. I was meaning to post my vlogs on the blog as well, but I haven't been very faithful in doing that. I intend to change that by posting my youtube posts regularly.
This week I posted two videos. One was a viewer request. She is a high school student and asked about what to do as a boy was saying sexually harrassing things to her. While this isn't particular to goth, it is something I think is important to talk about.

The second video is some general advice about what to do if your parents disapprove of you being goth. Both these videos are aimed at the 18 and under set, but I think they can still apply if you are an adult and have a difficult relationship with your parents.

Do you have any additional advice for these situations?


  1. I think your sexual harassment advice is spot on. Sadly, the newer generations have had a whole different set of problems to face. My generation never dealt with things like sexting or being bullied on social media because that stuff just did not exist back then. That doesn't mean that negative attitudes and rape culture weren't around... I remember this one nasty guy who constantly tried to rub himself against me whenever he saw me. It was possibly the worst experience I had in high school.

    When I was in the 9th grade everyone thought I was a senior (I've been accused of looking 19 for a long, long time) so I'd see a lot of older students on a daily basis. I knew this one guy was interested in me because he liked to follow me around but I absolutely hated him; he was rude, he spit every five seconds and he wasn't exactly pretty. He also liked crappy bands. I decided this was not a person I'd want as a friend especially because he was so aggressive with his attempts to flirt with me. If I knew he'd be somewhere I'd make sure to avoid him. Unfortunately I was apart of a morning club that he had joined too, so every morning I'd see him (and want to puke on myself). He would wait by the doorway and try to dry hump me as I pushed my way past. It was disgusting. I still cringe whenever I think about it.

    I never told anybody (adult) about it but I made sure to never be alone with him and to always be with friends. I also made sure to not give him any of my personal information like my phone number, last name, email, or class schedule. I didn't want him to be able to find or contact me. I would even leave school early just so he couldn't see me walk home.

    One day I was walking down the hall and he was with some skanky girls and he tried to call me out. I was with a friend and I said something not so nice (I can't recall what) in front of everyone. He never bothered me again! It was the happiest day of my life.

    However, my situation was a little bit different compared to the one you mentioned. In my case the guy thought we were all buddy-buddy and that I was deeply infatuated with him. It's easier to tell someone off who thinks you're on good terms than someone who happens to be a bully. It sounds like this guy (or girl?) might be super jealous. If they're crazy aggressive I would tell teachers, parents and friends, and I would never be alone if this person was around. I've been in a lot of abusive relationships and I have to say that being alone and not talking about are the worst things you can do.

  2. Thanks for sharing your story. It sounds like a really difficult time. :(